1. (In the real, inner, true. eternal self) Men and Women are essentially different (each a complementary 'half' of the complete human whole).
2. Premortal souls differ in terms of spiritual advancement - and their needs for further advancement.
3. General earthly conditions throughout history have changed - the evolution of consciousness. We have been placed in the best for our needs.
4. The micro-specific personal conditions of our births differ - time, place, parents. We have been placed in the best for our needs.
5. Our specific natures differ: personality, intelligence, special abilities, defects, diseases and disorders. We have been placed in the best for our needs.
THEN - we are subject to the primordial agencies (of many types and strengths) of others - of men, angels, demons and the environmental features of animals, plants, minerals... These may make conditions better or worse for our needs.
These are responsive to our own choices and attitudes - there is nothing that 'just happens' to us; and nothing is random.
Our basic situation: We are who and where we are for good reason - so we should not wish for any other.